I will say this about Mick Foley… He is one of the loveliest people on the planet. He has so much time and patience for the endless fans that want to talk to him and shake his hand. He is gracious and kind. I adore this man. And he wears those curved-bottom shoes that are supposed to tone your legs while you walk. For some reason I like that.
WHY? WHY? WHY?
Since AJ was quickly becoming the best thing that ever happened to the WWE, I kept imagining scenarios where it got ruined; for example if she had actually married Daniel Bryan. I also kept imaging what I wished would happen; Punk breaks up the wedding and he and AJ super make-out (sexy!).
But they tricked me! They ruined it in a way I never thought of! Sure, why not take the adorable AJ, in her makeshift, boyfriend of the moment outfits, who makes crazy awesome and is both cute and sexy (hard to pull off) and… make her the boring GM and put her in a horrible, ill-fitting suit and the ugliest boots of all time.
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
I don’t want her to be GM! I want her to come out to the ring and act like a weirdo and then creepily skip away! I want her to start messing with everyone’s head, and then make out with all of them! I want a Diva to have a storyline that goes somewhere! Blurgh, I need to go for a smoke.
Bo Dallas (real name Taylor Rotunda) had his first match on NXT on June 21/12, and he won, which is great for him and all, but let’s talk about his face.
I would call it Dicaprio-esque. Imagine Leo with dark hair and a beefed up body, and that is what we have here. And guess what? I like it. Although I am biased against long-hair on wrestlers (with the exception of Triple H), I’ll let it go this one time.
His brother (real name Windham Rotunda, formerly known as Husky Harris) is being re-branded on this season of NXT as Bray Wyatt, but did not get the same pretty face. Their dad is Mike “Irwin R. Shyster” Rotunda.
WWE’S BEST TWITTER… RYBACK!
Why is @ryback22 the best Superstar on Twitter? Because since he started on Twitter in 2009 he has amassed almost 80,000 followers…with zero tweets. That’s right, the guy has never put anything out there in the twitter-verse, yet so many of us follow him anyway. I like your style, Ryback.
It’s time for another Wrestling Lady Award! The first winner, for the illustrious Best Thighs, was The Viper, Randy Orton. Let’s face it, the man is cut. But he can’t win everything, so new body-part, new winner.
This one just jumped out at me last week, when the tag team of Kofi Kingston and R-Truth were taking on the team of Hunico and Epico. All of a sudden I said “Oh my god, Kofi Kingston has a great ass!”
It’s high, it’s round, it’s tight…I like it. I just wanna squeeze it. He has one of those butts where your hand just itches for a grab. The picture doesn’t do it justice, but you’d be shocked how hard it is to find a good butt picture for these guys. I picked a picture that also had Cody Rhodes - who, to give credit where credit is due, has been really working out the past year and defining those muscles, and who is still number one in my heart. But as far as the booty goes…helllllooooooo Kofi!
The Beautiful Cody Rhodes gets a piece of Best Butt Winner Kofi Kingston.
Okay, so I haven’t posted in a while. Partially because I have been insanely busy and partially because I am mad at the WWE. I am mad for two reasons, one of which I will deal with now.
What the hell is up with the Divas? Why no decent storylines? Why no decent matches? Why are they all portrayed as a stereotype, and a boring stereotype at that? These women have to work out as much as the boys, have to go on the road as much as the boys, but then are relegated to being eye-candy. I’m not delusional - I know the main reasons most of the women are there is because guys like looking at hot chicks, and that is fine. But since they are there, why not USE THEM?
I am tired of the backstabbing, bitchy, sorority girl image all these girls seem to have. Granted for a while there Beth Phoenix and Natalya were the exception, with their pin-up strong, but where did that go? That just faded away. Them ganging up on the pretty girls and making them cry was both hilarious and, while perhaps not the most flattering portrayal of women, at least it wasn’t pretty bitches cat-fighting.
I have, in recent months, seen two lumber-jill matches that ended with all the girls in a giant, hair-pulling heap. Are you joking? These are supposed to be wrestlers and yet hair-pulling is their best move? (Again, exception to the rule was when Vickie Guerrero and Aksana got into a cat fight, but they aren’t really wrestlers and it was on the sidelines, so it was awesome.)
Eve has some awesome stuff going on right now, and I like now that she is an executive assistant she wears glasses so we know she is smart, but I feel this is yet one more story that will go nowhere. What is happening with her and Zack Ryder? Can we keep that going?
Yes, these ladies are beautiful. But they also worked really hard to get where they are so can they do more than just show up for 3 minutes an episode? I think they can. I feel like there is some male writer who has an idea of what women are like and so he writes that, when they could be much more diverse and interesting.
Vickie is the only woman who makes me feel better about the WWE. She is great, she has great stuff, so we know it can be done. Let’s just do it for all of them.
Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan
Really? 18 seconds? Kind of hoping for a bit more, but okay. I wonder if Danny-Boy is just going to blame AJ for this.
Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes
Or as my friend Brendan said “Cody Robes”, because what the hell was he wearing? Also, the zipper on the robe needed to be a couple of inches longer because if you look at the pictures on wwe.com it looks like his junk is trying to escape the robe.
Some thought I would be devastated by the results of this match because of my love for Cody. However I knew Big Show would win, and so he should. The guys has been at this forever, and as CR has been pointing out, the Show needed a Wrestlemania moment. I could have Done without the stinkface, which is weird because I am immature and usually love that stuff, but I guess I was afraid Show would mess up Cody’s pretty visage.
Randy Orton vs. Kane
Honestly…I didn’t care about this match at all. It was good and all it just that I have no emotional investment in this story whatsoever. I do always enjoy watching Randy Orton, because the man is a sexy beast, but I am kind of bored with Kane. I want him to be meaner.
Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos vs. Beth Phoenix & Eve
Just…no. No. I will give Kelly the fact that she is a great gymnast. But 2 skinny little pretty girls against 2 chicks that can actually wrestle? Beth could have beaten them both on her own. Plus I am into the whole evil Diva thing, let’s put more focus on that angle.
Primo & Epico vs. The Usos vs.Tyson Kidd & Justin Gabriel
I missed this match. (Hey a girl’s gotta smoke, pee and get another vodka/soda sometime.) Primo and Epico are great, but right now I am on an Uso kick ever since I found out Rikishi was their dad. I love pedigrees!
Triple H vs. The Undertaker
I like the shaved head. I think we all knew that the streak was not going to get broken here. Let’s face it - Taker has to be close to retirement, is he really going to go out on a loss? Although the match was great, what is sticking with me is what happened post-fight: HHH and Taker lying in the ring. You could practically hear them thinking “Man we are getting older.” Also, was Shawn Michaels crying? I thought I saw some tears there. And then he hugged them both? What? Then they both help HHH up? It got a little sappy at the end there. I kept hoping something would happen, like Taker would go back for a cheap shot, but no.
CM Punk vs. Jericho
This one started off very badly, with Jericho yelling out the dumbest stuff and trying to get Punk disqualified. Jericho is just not gifted when it comes to trash talk. Happily though this match quickly ramped up to be the match of the night, in my opinion. I loved it, I love that Punk won, I loved hating Jericho’s outfit. One of the guys I was watching with said these two should become tag team partners and call themselves “Besties in the World”. Quote of the night.
The Rock vs. John Cena
Wow…what a disappointment. I found it boring. The weird thing was that I was actually torn over who I wanted to win this match. After a 10 year imaginary relationship with The Rock, I broke up with him for Cody Rhodes but still kept him close to my heart. Cena I have always been up and down about, but he has been winning me over lately. Aside from his stupid soliloquy in an empty arena under the Wrestlemania sign, I felt he had been winning the war of words in the last few weeks. Sunday afternoon I watched the “Once in a Lifetime” special that went into the history of both superstars and how they got where they are, and I thought “Oh man, I might be joining the CeNation.” My brother is my favorite person in the world, so I am a sucker for anyone who loves their brothers.
The best part of this match was watching the super Cena fan in all green in the front row losing his mind. It started off slow and never really gained momentum. Even the musical intros were boring. There were two things that could have made this match: 1-after losing Cena turns heel and does something horrible to The Rock. 2- Brock Lesnar interferes in the match. Neither happen. Boo.
If you don’t follow Zack Ryder’s dad on Twitter you need to start. @MisterRyder is hilarious. Nothing is cuter than a dad who supports his kid.
I know the WWE is trying to make a big thing out of the End of an Era match, but let’s face it - there is no way Triple H can win. The Undertaker has to be coming up on retirement, and are they really going to end his career on a loss? Of course, since most people are expecting him to win, I suppose they could pull a switcheroo and have him lose but somehow I doubt it. Why would they let him go 19-0 just to lose now?
Last night at a bar I was blocked in by tables, so I crawled underneath to get out. Yeah, I am classy like that. A waitress saw me and said “Are you serious?” and I replied “You know it Bro. Woo woo woo!” She looked at me like I was an insane person. I guess she didn’t get the reference.